At this point in my life, it is extremely important to find things to be thankful for each day.
For example, I may be living with my parents for the time being, but I have a sanctuary of a room to come home to that my parents worked so hard on out of love for me. A loving support system that is here for me as I slowly get back to myself. This home may be miniature in comparison to those around it, but it is full of love, life, and hope. The hope of a better tomorrow keeps us moving forward. And we do so together.
Since I am still on the search for a job or two, here lately I have been a bit of a hermit. Which, for those of you with depression and anxiety, you know that it’s super easy to just stay in your pjs all day and maybe binge watch some Netflix shows. So, the mere fact that I got out of bed and out of my nightgown in general is “Huzzah!“– worthy.
Not only did I get dressed (woo), but I actually made myself breakfast before noon! And no, not my usual bowl of cereal. Since I have also started a new healthy lifestyle, I have been cooking waaaaay more than the college-aged girl inside of me wants to. I like lazy- laziness is what’s comfortable. Pizza rolls and ranch all the way, man! Or cereal for dayyys- I used to eat cereal as though my life depended on it, but that’s a different story.
No siree. This morning, I took to the skillet and fried some bacon, scrambled an egg, and even chopped up some red pepper, sausage and fresh avocado and put that in the mix. Sprinkled a tidbit of cheese to top it all off and mmmmm- mmmm- mmm! Deliciousness.
I know. To some, it seems so pathetic to be celebrating these small tasks. And I get that. I used to not understand, either. Now, after living it, I can tell you that sometimes these “mundane” tasks are quite the challenge.
And, to top the charts today, I was able to spend some time with my Lord and His Words. For me, that’s a rather rare thing. I know… tsk tsk! I’m trying to be better about getting into the Word every day. Today was Day 1 in that journey. You’ve gotta start somewhere, right? It’s also nice that my accountability partner has me taking pictures of the scripture I read each day.
And, finally, the weather outside was GORGEOUS. Not that I noticed it all that much because I opted to stay inside.
That is, until my Dad came home, humming the Smurfs theme to himself. If I ever refer to him as Papa Smurf, you’ll understand why.
He sensed my downtrodden mood and made me put on shoes and walk our little furball. During our walk, we had blissful sun and subtle winds to enjoy, as well as some deep father-daughter discussions (I use “deep” lightly there- he was keeping things lighthearted in order to get some smiles and giggles out of me, which is always his goal).
After the walk, I did feel better. My thoughts hadn’t gone away, but the cloud over my head definitely had. There is something to be said about sunshine and depression; my psychologist recommended getting at least 20 minutes of sunshine a day, preferably with some physical activity such as walking. And if you can’t bear to leave your home, which can be an issue with severe anxiety cases, look on Amazon for a Happy Lamp. It’s supposed to mimic sunlight and improve overall wellness. They can be a bit steep, so search elsewhere if need be for something in your price range.
He and I then cooked dinner together- grilled chicken and zucchini, and homemade mashed cauliflower. We watched Flash together as we enjoyed our delectable masterpiece.
I suppose what I’m trying to get at is just how much happiness is hiding between those dark and desperate moments. I could have looked back on today with a negative view and had absolutely nothing to write about. Instead, I made myself seek out the lights in the darkness that had been surrounding me.
It’s the little things. (: